Lincoln, Nebraska Man Demands City Council Rename Boneless Wings
Remember that old Aaron Tippin song?
You got to stand for somethin' or you'll fawwwwl for anythaaang.
Well, Ander Christensen of Lincoln, Nebraska took a stand for everyone who's tired of seeing people fall for "boneless chicken wings".
Christensen attended a Lincoln City Council meeting Monday night, where he delivered a public address demanding that the name of the popular menu item be changed. He began his address quite ominously, telling the council that he was concerned about a name being thrown around nice family restaurants without anyone knowing what it actually means.
"Lincoln has the opportunity to be a social leader in this country," he said. "We have been casually ignoring a problem that has gotten so out of control that our children are casually throwing around names and words without even understanding their true meaning, treating things as if they're normal."
"I'm talking about boneless chicken wings," he continued. "I propose that we as a city..."
Here, he was cut off by laughter from the audience, which he sternly asked to cease so he could continue addressing this serious issue.
Christensen went on to propose changing the name of boneless chicken wings.
"Boneless chicken wings are just chicken tenders, which are already boneless," he said. "I don't go to order boneless tacos. I don't go and order boneless club sandwiches. I don't ask for boneless auto repair. It's just what's expected."
"Our children are raised being afraid of having bones attached to their meat," he continued. "That's where meat comes from. It grows on bones. We need to teach them that the wing of a chicken is from a chicken, and it's delicious."
Christensen had a few suggestions for what to rename boneless wings.
"We can call them Buffalo style chicken tenders," he said. "We can call them wet tenders. We can call them saucy nugs, or trash. We can take these steps and show the country that...where we stand, and that we understand that we've been living a lie for far too long, and we know it 'cause we feel it in our bones."
I think most of us have been to city council meetings and heard absolute nut cases go on insane rants, but Christensen's address to the Lincoln City Council made people smile and chuckle, which he was completely intended.
Ander Christensen is the son of Lincoln City Councilman Roy Christensen. According to KOLN-TV, Ander wanted to break the monotony of the grim COVID-19 discussions the City Council has been having and bring an issue to the floor that would make people laugh and spread some cheer.
That cheer has spread far beyond Lincoln and is making the rounds on the internet. It's even inspired a hashtag: #SaucyNugs.
In fact, there are already t-shirts for sale. That's just hilarious to me.
There's so much turmoil and division going on this country right now, but if anything can (hopefully) remind us of what we have in common as Americans and human beings, it's boneless chicken wing humor.
What do you think of Christensen's speech? Which name would best fit boneless wings? Sound off in the comments, and be sure to share the laughter!
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