I was requested to go home to Bismarck for Thanksgiving. I decided to drive the backroads since the airlines hate fat people. Turns out the Texas panhandle gets snow and ice.

Michael Behan

Growing up, Highway 83 went through my towns. Turns out the highway goes from Canada to Mexico. I've taken it to Canada before. There's no chance in hell I'm taking it to Mexico, but I would take it from Abilene to Bismarck.

First leg of the trip was to try to get to Kansas. Turns out Texas is a big state. After 10 hours on the road, I was still in Texas. Darkness and rain forced me to stop in Perryton Texas. Woke up the next morning to ice on the windshield. I didn't have an official ice scraper, so I made due with a Texas ice scraper. A food discount card.

Via Big Q/TSM

The secret is to make scrapes from roof to hood, then scrape from door to door. Be patient, or you're going to break the card. There's $3 dollars from Applebee's I won't be seeing anytime soon.

Of course, once I bought a real ice scraper, I didn't need one. But, let's be honest. If you have a good heater, you don't need a scraper.