If you are one of the many online shoppers out there excited to take advantage of all the deals due to 'Amazon Prime Day', good for you. I wish I could say I'm in the same boat, but I'm not.

The first issue I have with it is they call it "Prime Day" and it lasts for 48 hours. Adding an 's' to make it plural is super easy guys. Come on. My mother is an English major. I think I know what I'm talking about!

The second issue is that I'm a Texan, so what am I gonna get on Amazon? Do they sell livestock? No. Guns? No. Dallas Cowboys tickets? You guessed it - nada.  Or at least I wish they did.Every true Texan spends his or her days riding a horse around, touting a revolver, and eating beans cooked over a campfire.

Alright, alright, I'm just kidding I will probably fall victim to the lure of the low priced home goods. I'm going to find myself an owner of a brand new toaster oven I don't need. Thanks, Amazon!