Get blitzed this Easter with these 5 Easter cocktails.

The death and resurrection of Jesus. It's a hell of a weekend. Our ancestors stopped trying to explain it to the kids so they invented a rabbit. And instead of pooping poop, the rabbit poops chocolate. You want to talk about a stretch. Wow!

But once the chocolate companies embraced the idiocity, the world was doomed to eat the weekend away.

I'll be the first to admit that a bag of Reese's Eggs is always on the Easter weekend menu, but there are others that need a stiff drink. I guess it's easier to get blasted before they lie to their kids, and toss them in a field full of snakes and bugs to hunt for eggs.

Since I consider myself to be a helper, I found these 5 recipes for Easter themed drinks.

Here are the names, and don't worry, they're based on the "fake rabbit" instead of the dead Jesus.

Cadbury Egg Cream - Peep Show - Easter Egg - Jelly Bean - Southern Delight

I really don't know what Southern Delight has to do with Easter, but if you've drank the first 4, you're probably just looking for a tasty drink to send you off to an alcoholic nap.