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You Call That a Shamrock Shake? More like a Shame-rock!

In recent years, nostalgia for McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes has hit fever pitch come March 17. It’s easy to see why: if you were a kid in the 70s and 80s, you looked forward to the minty-green goodness. (So much so I broke my lent promise to do this post. The things I do in the name of journalism.)

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For the record, I never had the mint sundae, but now wish I had one back in the day. They can certainly make one for me or you now because they have the syrup at hand. That’s because, unfortunately, they use that same syrup to make the shamrock shakes on the spot. Adding human variables in a fast food gums up the works.

Unlike the shakes from those polyester days on which the Shamrock Shake made it’s reputation, today’s Shamrock shakes start with a vanilla shake base, then the McDonald’s employee adds the syrup to the mix and stirs it around. Maybe. Or not at all.

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St. Patrick himself would be appalled. How can you even tell from this angle what this is?

I had to snap these before I even got out of the car. Compare that to the images in the commercial above.

Here’s what it looked like from above. This did not remind me of Ireland.

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Seriously? This looks like a vanilla shake which stayed out too long. I was almost afraid to take the top off. Such Blarney!

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Okay, that at least shows signs of Shamrock Syrup, which means an attempt was made to create a modern-day Shamrock Shake. But that’s not what the masses want when they order a Shamrock Shake at Mickey D’s. They want this…

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That’s right, a green shake made in a shake machine so the color is consistent all the way through with a minty tinge perfectly blended throughout. It’s not the same Shamrock Shake, but the green is apropos: this new concoction is a hybrid like Frankenstein.

Speaking of minty tinges, you might be wondering how this shake tastes. The first sip  overwhelmed my taste buds with mint and almost knocked me down. Wow, that’s strong mint! I stirred it multiple times to balance the flavor, which means what little green color was in this shake was mixed away,

Unlike the OG version, McDonald’s now offers Chocolate and Espresso variations of the Shamrock Shake. The less said about those, the better. Also, as a rule I don’t want whipped cream and a cherry, I want an old-fashioned milkshake like my folks had at the soda fountain, or at least what I had in the 70s. I’d settle for something decent.

McDonald’s, this isn’t a Shamrock Shake, it’s a shame.

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