People say I don't have much Christmas Spirit. Maybe. But I had Big Pussy...Cat do a little poetry reading for you all.

The story of Santa coming to one guys house and filling up the stockings and dropping off presents, to me, was always a story of bad parenting.

Lets be honest. These "losers" of parents forgot about Christmas. Odds are they went out partying, because they simply refuse to grow up and take responsibility for their children. In the back of their minds they can't believe they got pregnant more than once. Why can't they make a piece of rubber that doesn't break. They liked it better when they were in high school, sneaking out and "doing it" in the back seat. Now the dude has to work two jobs, while his hot high school girlfriend is packing on the pounds and shooting out kids like she's some type of water slide at an amusement park.

Dad shot out of bed alright. It was because he realized that they spent the kids "toy" money on an 8-ball and some Jack Daniels. So he came up with this idea how some man dropped off all the gifts. He watched him do it, Then he went to bed. They must have got robbed while everyone slept.

"Life is hard kids. You need to know that. Now, we're going to send you to Taiwan to work in the shoe factory, because ball players need shoes, and daddy doesn't want to work so much. Besides there's a kegger Saturday night, it's going to be the bomb!"

Merry Christmas Everyone.