So it seems we've been given a week to live. What the hell, planet? Even jackasses give at least a two week notice.

The folks at The Sun are claiming that a Christian numerologist has figured out that September 23rd will be our last day.

His name is David Meade, and he might be feeling needy for attention. He was hanging out in Luke and decided to start stroking his numbers. He's claiming that with the eclipse and hurricanes, the signs of the apocalypse are here.

He picked Luke 21: 25 to 26. So for those of you who play the lottery, you might want to write those three numbers down. Not that it matters.

The verses read...

“25: There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken."

"26: Men’s hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken."

Combine the clarity of those statements along with codes from the Bible, as well as a "date marker" in the pyramids of Giza in Egypt, and September 23rd comes up.

Now it doesn't specify if this is the current September 23rd, or the pre-Ben Franklin daylight savings time cluster. It also doesn't mention if they included the failed 11 minutes a year of the Julius Caesar calendar. They also don't bother mentioning if time is really relative.

All that aside, you might be asking how. That's a good question, because this is where the train really does leave the tracks.

Mr. Meade believes the end will come with Planet X. If haven't heard about Planet X, grab the popcorn.

It is believed to be a planet called Nibiru, and it's going to pass near Earth causing volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, and earthquakes. Which could be called the Earthly Trinity.

Nibiru was first mentioned in 1976 by author Zecharia Stichin in the book The 12th Planet. In it, good ol' Zechy believed the planet is the home to ancient aliens called the Annunaki who actually created the human race.

Now Mr. Meade wrote his own book called Planet X - The 2017 Arrival, where he said the planet would crash in Earth in October, but then double checked his math and moved it up a few weeks.

Now the secret to surviving the end of the world is...I'm sorry, I got distracted by the photos next to the Sun's story. I don't know who Lisa Appleton is, but she looks very good wet. Where was I? Oh never mind. I've wasted too much time already writing this down. Only got a week left.

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