An Alternative to Fifty Shades of Grey

Hey, have heard Fifty Shades Of Grey is coming out this weekend? Oh, yeah, everybody's talking about it. If the theater is sold out, however, there is this. Ladies and gentleman, I give you Fifty Shades...Of Beige.

So there's this girl, played by...somebody, and she's falling for this creepy guy who sounds a lot like Dana Carvey and looks a lot like your high school guidance counselor. Apparently they spend the whole movie wandering through romantically shot  montages, looking like the couple whose photo comes with the Big Lots picture frame...until she realizes this undercover narc looking guy AIN'T GONNA GIVE IT UP.

Yeah, so this guy subs rage basketball for cold showers while she tries to understand him instead of moving on. And he confides in both a kooky black friend, a wise old lady and engages in lots and lots and lots of Biblical chat. Also wood working. And, side note, does the main guy seem a bit...aged? A wee old for the role? I guess I should mention he's also the writer/director.

Dunno, looks like it could be so off the charts bad it might be worth a look. Maybe if you knock back a few dozen old fashions before taking in...Old Fashioned.

No red rooms. No Christian Grey. Just...this guy. Here he explains his...theory.

It opens this week.

P.S: We explored the world of Fifty Shades a few days ago. Click the pic below to join the creepy fun!