Turns out Funyuns are not made of onions. Shocking I know.

I've never been a big fan of onions. I could never understand why anyone would eat something that makes you cry. I'm being asked to try this food, that makes you cry, while being forced to go to Sunday School to learn about God and souls, and live everafter. I deduced that onions were a living creature and our souls were being punished for chopping up these creatures then tossing them in hot oil, or hot fry pans.

So when someone brought a bag of Funyuns to school, there was no way I was going to eat one. And when the fattest kid in school doesn't want to eat something it turns out that, in itself, is fascinating.

"Why won't you eat a Funyun?"

"I don't like onions."

"You idiot! There's no onions in Funyuns!"

"Why would eat something that's not something?"

"Jupiter's Moon! How did someone so picky get so fat?"

Well that's "a whole year or so with a shrink" type of answer, but it turns out the "artificial" bully was right. There are no onions in Funyuns, but the process is pretty amazing.

Cornmeal & Water flash cooked. Brilliant!