If you want to pay for a woman, and not get charged with prostitution, then you need Harmony in your life.

Designed by Realbotix to be a "conversational" partner, that you can also nail when you want to.

When I say "nail", I mean go to town on; pound like a pillow; slip and dip; a bit of the old in and out; perform the act of darkness; some afternoon delight; assault with a friendly weapon; baking the potato; balling; bam-bam in the ham; slipping a banana in the fruit salad; batter-dip the corn dog; splitting the beard; bisecting the triangle (I was told there would be no math); bludgeoning the flaps; boffing; boinking; bonestorming; boning; bruising the beef curtains; buttering the biscuit; burping the worm in the mole-hole; cattle-prodding the oyster ditch with the lap rocket; cleaning the cobwebs with the womb broom; solving natures rubik's cube; dinky-tickling; dipping the wick; disappointing the wife; feeding the kitty; concussing the little man in the boat; playing with balls in the house; hiding the nazi; jamming the clam; loading the clown into the cannon; opening the Gates of Mordor; filling up the waffle with condensed milk; poking the baby; sheathing the meat dagger; clam slamming; I'm talking about having sex with the thing!

The creator says it's not meant as a replacement for a real woman, but Harmony is able to have a robot orgasm, so now you have to please a doll that's programmed to remember everything you say and do.

Dear Lord, bring back the Fleshlight.