Brush Your Fears Away as it’s National Tooth Fairy Day
This lie has only been haunting children since the 1920s.
I find this to be one of the more strange lies parents tell children. Oh sure, I can get behind anything that makes me money. Lose a tooth, get a quarter. (I lost my teeth in the 60s & 70s). But since the tradition started in the 1920s it's only safe to assume that this is the reason the stock market crashed.
Children around the world realize that the teeth in their head was worth cash, they'd go out at night and roll rich people, not for their wallets, but their teeth. They'd get back home, shove the teeth underneath the pillow, and bam! Cold hard cash for hookers.
The money had to come from somewhere, so the Tooth Fairy's began to steal it from the stock market. The roaring 20s soon turned into the the dirty 30s and the world changed.
Personally, I was born without half of my "adult" teeth, so the dentist had to cap my baby teeth right away. That was a good $3 out of pocket right from the beginning of my life. That's the reason I never went to college.
They say it was meant to help kids brush their teeth. Don't know how that works. I get paid when the teeth fall out, so why would I brush my teeth. The faster my teeth fall out, the quicker I can afford Meth. It's a vicious circle that only ends when I start gumming my jello.