The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
Can’t Relate to Teens? Introducing Twerking for Moms
Are you a mom? Do you have a teen daughter you just don't understand?
12 Bulls**t Lines People Use During Break-ups — And What They Actually Mean
Yesterday, I overheard one dude-bro discussing with another dude-bro his flatlining relationship and the correct procedure to "dump the nut job."
If ‘The Godfather’ Were Rebooted, Who Would Play Each Role?
'The Godfather' should never be touched. We're referring to both the fictional character and the entire movie franchise. It can never be improved upon (fine, the third movie needs a little work) and remains one of the greatest treasures in cinema.
21 Things That Ruined Your Summer Vacation As a Kid
Summer vacation is the greatest time in a kid's life. No school. No bullies. No teachers. No worries.
Candy Company Offers Breast Milk Flavored Lollipops — Makes For Great Treat After Therapy
The award-winning gourmet lollipop company, Lollyphile, has never been afraid to experiment with off-the-wall flavors.
Four years ago, the "adult candy company" started producing absinthe-flavored suckers just before the absinthe ban was lifted...
Minor League Player Steals Home to the Delight of All Seven Fans in the Stands
Minor League baseball is often the place to find some of the most exciting plays of the year. Thankfully, those plays are available to watch online. It's much easier than fighting the massive crowds that pack minor league stadiums across the US...
It’s Time For ‘March Sadness’ — The Bracket of Everything that Makes a Guy Sad
March Madness brackets and the crowning of an NCAA champion in men's basketball is important to a select few people. The crowning of the saddest thing that can happen to a man is much more vital to the our readers. We're just assuming. We're just kind of sick of talking about basketball. We're burned out and the tourney isn't even a day old.
It’s Fred Rogers’ Birthday So Let’s Celebrate With Some Classic ‘Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood’ Clips
At one point in time, everybody knew Mr. Rogers. It was almost impossible to turn on the television and not catch Fred throwing on his signature cardigan or Bobo shoes and teaching people about the way bread is made or why dogs are constantly sticking their noses up one another's anus...
Baltimore Ravens are Super Bowl XLVII Champions
The Baltimore Ravens survived a late 49ers surge, a controversial non-call in the endzone and a 34-minute power outage to win Super Bowl XLVII by a score of 34-31.
Chris Culliver Pulls the Old ‘Just Kidding’ Card Regarding Anti-Gay Remarks
Chris Culliver, the San Francisco 49ers cornerback who yesterday made some inappropriate remarks about gays on Arti Lange's radio show, is backtracking on those statements with the verbal Get Out Of Jail Free card known as "just kidding."